It has been about a month I think since my last post. I had just got let go a weeks ago from a phone sales job before my real 1st day of work, again was accused of not being the hard worker type; busy finding other employment; computer issues, had to replace computer tower. and the possibility of expecting a baby. Just a whirlwind from what it seems to went on for the last few weeks. We also had some hot weather for 2 days (the 5th and 6th of this month, followed bya couple more warm 80+ degree days later that week and into the that weekend. I am going to start with the phone sales job. I am desperate for a job right now and I thought this would be it, even if I did not have the personality or any phone sales experience. At hte end of last month, I attended 3 days of training. The manager started to heavily criticize about my lack of studying the script and not role playing. I had other things going on, so I did "my homework" the following evening and got unfairly and unnecessarily criticized again to the point where I had sort of had to "bite back" and explained a little about how criticism at most of my jobs led to practically being abused, and being stereotyped. The third day, I was sick and was not still feeling good when I got to training, so I let the manager know. I still was not feeling good and the idiot manger let me go. Just for that I requested to talk with his boss and his boss explained to me that they go through and selectivly choose people to call in for interviews and invite to training. I explained that I may not be focused enough for this type of job and my lack of experience. After that, my I became a little depressed and lost more faith and confidence in the job market. I have been figuring out how to work from home so I would not have to worry any abusive criticism crap. The computer issures, stressed me out a lot. I had no choice but to replace my computer tower. The new tower or refurbished tower, has Windows 7 and the internet is 3 times faster than old Windows XP, which any updates or security updates, patches and support will be discontinued next April, since Windows XP is now an almost 12 year old operating system. I previously wanted to wait until this summer sometime to upgrade to Windows 7 but now, I did not need to since I purchased a refurbished computer with Windows 7 preinstalled and love it:) I only paid about $109, which is what I would call almost a steal for a tower with Windows 7! What is going on with me personally right now is I had been trying for baby and did try again, hoping for success this time around. I did not take a test yet because I am not jinxing myself yet. I been sick the last 2 weeks almost with what started out as light headedness with headaches, and now a bout of dizzyness and bouts of nausea. Similar to the symptoms I had when I though I was pregnant back in February (or may have been). These symptoms are a little more aggressive. My running has slowed to not hardly running at all because I had been too sick from all this. I do plan to get my running back up since I have a marathon in a few weeks. It has been 2 1/2 weeks since my last training run (right before symptoms started) I am hoping my body will get over this let me get back my running and kickboxing, which I had been doing more of than running lately. Just accepting that this is what pregnancy does to some people is going to take adjusting to, which I am doing. I have not yet had any bleeding or pain as I am about 2 1/2 weeks late for that time of the month, which would make me an estimated 6 1/2 weeks pregnant nearly if confirmed at a clinic which I am figuring out. I had been for years trying for baby with only heartbreak that interrupts it. Each time time I thought I was pregnant, because I do know my body to know what is off and what is normal, it would terminate. All the the years of drama and stress of trying to succeed at keeping jobs and turning one into a career and being knocked down could causing it and stress is not good for pregnancy or health. I was in a way brainwashed into thinking that having kids could get me a job or keep one, and get me on a better track to starting a career. Crappy and skewed thinking, but now is not always the case and having kids sometimes does nothing for the career or help get a job. Did not mean to bring this up but I have actually seen people get jobs and careers going after having kids and tese are not the people going back to working after kids. I watch the show on Oxygen Snapped and the women usually seems to get a job or a career going after her and her husband she murders start a family, way before the marriage fails and of course she kills him. I have told my dad this and he said that only happens on TV. It is reality actually in some cases. My sister told me that having kids would not help me get a career or even a job started because some employers will not hire me if pregnant or after the baby. Something to think about now, because now I may need to make a doctor appointment.